Confessions

I knew that we would face challenges ever since I failed a test that God put before me. He knew I would fail, so I guess it was just a much needed unveiling of my black heart to prepare me for what lie ahead. This happened before I left, but it has taken a while for me to process. Here´s the gist with an ironic detail included:

3 days before Nick Gambrell and I were to leave for Panama, back in January, he came over to the house to help clean pecans that we would sell to support the mission. He brought his fiddle so we could make sure it fit the luggage requirements (it was 12” too long. Nick declared that Jesus loves fiddles and would make it invisible. Apparently Jesus does love fiddlin´ because it worked) and we played a little. Reminiscing over supper, we stumbled on yet another common piece of cherished heritage:  the Robin Hood cartoon, which, incidentally, we had a copy of in the basement where the pecan pickin´ was happening. Soon enough, we were watching it for the 113^th time, instruments in hand, and singing “oodalolly doodalolly golly what a day.”

The next day, Colleen and I walked into Bank of America, where I´ve had an account since long, long ago, to withdraw all of our savings and change the account type to something that would be conducive to our work in Panama. After much discussion and prayer, we had saved $7,000 that was intended to finish our house, buy a vehicle, and sustain us for an indefinite amount of time as our work and support base evolved.

I was glad to remove it from the bank´s hands, and I must confess a bitter sentiment towards certain players in the financial institution, particularly my own bank. Perhaps I don´t have enough formal education in economics to give my 2 cents on bailouts, but I worked briefly for a landscaping company in the months preceding our departure, and one of the contracts was $1 million on a ½ acre on the lake… a 3^rd home gifted to the current wife. The owner? a Bank of America executive that received a multi-million dollar bonus immediately following the bailout.

We spoke to a manager, explained that I was leaving the country in 2 days, changed our account, and received very positive encouragement for the endeavor we were undertaking. Colleen waited while I went to the teller and was given 2 large stacks of bundled cash, and then we headed home. On arriving, I noticed that one bundle was bound and marked ¨$2000¨ and the other ¨$10,000.¨ “Odd,” I thought. “They must have run out of the correct paper or maybe they took half out already.” Alone, I slowly counted the crisp bills, chuckling to myself about how that loveable Robin Hood had gotten the better of the contemptible Prince John, all the while conjuring an impenetrable wall of justification. Wow! Does the good Lord know how to answer a prayer or what?!

I was holding $12,000 in cash and my deceitful logic had killed my screaming heart… me ready to get on a plane the next day with financial peace of mind and a murdered conscience… and then the phone rang. “Hi, Mr. Foster… have you counted your withdrawal yet?” “No, I´ll do that now,” I lied, trying to stall, not from facing the bank, but from facing myself. A group of 3 bank employees came by the house that afternoon to get their missing cash.

And so it was that I began to acknowledge my deceit, my fear, and my lack of faith in God to provide for my family and I.

Last month, as work became so demanding that I haven´t made any progress on the house in weeks, and our finances ran totally dry, we were provided with an opportunity to address this lack of faith. And it has been a tremendous blessing. Neighbors came out of the woodwork with soup, avocados, eggs, mangos, bananas, beans, and more. We had to give food away so it wouldn´t rot. Two dear friends, became our first monthly supporters, each committing $50 of predictable income to our ministry. Daniel, Chris, and Nick with BarnabasX came down and eliminated our personal debt, took care of us for the week of their stay, and purchased $2000 of materials towards our community´s water system that we´ve begun to build (more on that soon). And I signed a contract today for a small job that will provide $1000 of income, designing the planting scheme for Mission Clinics International, a Christian organization that is building a hospital about 1 hour´s drive from our home.

We are growing in faith and know that this test has opened doors for others to share in our work and thus share in our joy. And since our work is just beginning, our financial needs are also just beginning. Considering ourselves public servants, we have chosen to publish our finances, wanting to be transparent so that folks who are interested in joining and supporting our mission know where their money is going. Here is the page where our monthly finances are posted with the months of May and June completed. Our expenditures will vary significantly depending on travel, ministry expenses,  and… well… availability of funds. Please don´t hesitate to get in touch.

In Growing Faith,

alan

Thanks Tio Todd and Aunty Janice for the new threads!